Leave Love Left Where Love Died

Because I thought I could change you with ‘the right kind of love’, I took whatever you gave me.

Because drunk meetings in dark closets and rooms were romantic enough to let you take off all my clothes.

Because I thought that you holding my hair back while I gave you head meant you cared.

Because after spending an entire day right beside you, secret eye signals kept me content.

Because I thought that when you told me stories about your mom and dad, you gave me keys.

Because when you really did give me keys to parts of you, you didn’t want to deal with holding mine.

Because I still reply to your late night text at two in the morning and ask what’s up, even though I already know.

Because I always hope that we’ll have another drunken night like when we laid there and talked about leaving.

Because you can easily say lets stop doing this and ignore me but I can never let go so I patiently wait.

Because I know you’ll call two weeks later using some cheesy pick up line that I’ll call stupid but will still swoon over.

Because ill save your text messages as proof that I’m not crazy and you really do hit on me.

Because when someone caught us you threw me under the bus.

Because I expected better from you.

Because you still think that after three years of being secret nothings, we can still be friends.

Because you really thought that during those three years we were actually friends.

You were never my friend.

Because Love don’t hate.

Because I’m walking away and leaving whatever you wanna call this where it should’ve died years ago.

Because last time I said bye I really meant it.

Stop drunk dialing me, stop texting me, stop pretending we’re still cool,
Leave love left where love died.

4 thoughts on “Leave Love Left Where Love Died

  1. Your poem shows your growth in dealing with this dysfunctional relationship to the point of going well beyond it. Stay beyond it. As painful as it has been, you have peeled back the layers of lies that you have told yourself about this man. He lies were always obvious; you just overlooked them. Build on your strength and never allow yourself to be minimized again. Weak men exploit vulnerability. Breaking patterns is hard so remember the signs you ignored this time around and have them be red flags in the future. You are obviously self-reflecting and strong. Build on these!

  2. Very powerful! I found it productive to imagine that queer male bodies meet each other in dark closet and make inferences of hair being held back. This piece really reaches a lot relations, thanks for being vulnerable and sharing.

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